Projectile Review


Throwing things is an integral part of anarchist/anti-capitalist praxis. But it’s important to know what to throw. This is a review of different projectiles, highlighting their highest and best use.

 

Rock

Rocks, as you may know, are hard, and available nearly everywhere for free. Because you don’t need to carry them on you, and can usually assume that they will be present along the route or at the destination of your rock-throwing, they are an inconspicuous choice that can help minimize the chance of police searches leading to arrest (even if you do have a rock on you, you can say, “hey! It’s my pet rock!” However, due to their natural and varied origin (minerals and lava and stuff from millions are years ago), they are irregularly shaped, and therefore it’s hard to know just how hard to throw, and how much damage any individual rock will do.

God’s projectile. 6/10.

 

Brick

Brick, the industrial, boxy cousin of the rock, is another great option for windows and other not-too-hard surfaces. A strong throw of a brick can pretty much guarantee a window gets smashed. However, due to their size, bricks are not necessarily practical to carry around everywhere. Furthermore, if you get stopped by a cop it’s harder to say, “hey, this is my pet brick!” You can find bricks along the streets of New Orleans and many other places for free, or at your local home improvement store – pay with cash, not card ;)

A classic. 7 /10.

 

Pokeball

Not real, and therefore not useful. 0/10.

 

Slingshot

Slingshots are, in this writer’s humble opinion, greatly underutilized tools in the anarcho-projectile community. You can, from a distance of 20 yards or so, inflict great damage on objects, especially glass windows of tyrannical businesses and squad cars, with a slingshot. However hitting people with slingshot pellets will not inflict much damage unless you get them in the eye, which is difficult unless you have a lot of practice under your belt. And, unfortunately, slingshots are slow to reload.

The slow, long-distance choice. 6/10.

 

Potato Guns

Humor and visual effect: 10/10. Actual efficacy: 0/10.

 

Real Guns

Guns are extremely serious business. It’s probably good for leftists to know how to use them, but murder carries a heavy moral weight, and also means police will be hot on your tail. That being said, since Louisiana is an open-carry state, it’s probably more legal to carry a gun than to carry a slingshot or a brick. But breaking a window with a bullet could get you charged with assault with a deadly weapon, which doesn’t seem worth it.

Good for the inevitable apocalypse in ten years, morally and legally risky for now. 2/10.

 

BB/Pellet Guns

Another great, underutilized tool. BBs and pellet guns can shoot plastic or metal projectiles from 100 yards away. BB guns made these days can cost anywhere from $10 to $500, and often are as accurate as rifles used in the Olympics. There’s also a world of scopes and accessories to browse. All that means you can break a window, or annoy some Nazis, from far away, without the risk of the damage being deadly. An added bonus: unlike real guns, BBs don’t need to be bought from a dealer, or registered, so you’re free to buy ‘em, give ‘em to your friends, lose ‘em, or whatever, and still be within the law. Relatedly: paintball guns are great ways to shoot from afar and get your point across without causing too much damage.

Practical, affordable, fun: 9/10

 

Hands and Feet

Don’t forget, humans have up to four projectiles attached to their own body! Though these projectiles require a close range to be effective, they can also be quite damaging! But a word of warning to the feisty (and speaking from experience as someone who has been punched in the face by a Nazi who knew more about fighting than me): hands and feet take a lot of training to reach maximum efficacy, and it’s recommended you practice before you throw yourself into the ring. Perhaps their biggest drawback is that, unlike guns, rocks and bricks, if you break a hand or a foot, you’re pretty screwed for a while!

Can be effective. But needs practice and caution. 5/10.

 

Vomit

As someone who absolutely hates vomit, I have to say this might be one of the most effective projectiles. If you throw up on me, I’m likely to run away screaming and crying. So if you know how to do that on command, it’s your right, and maybe your responsibility, to vomit on your enemies.

Gross, but effective. 8/10.

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